Keywords: at the beginning, they are very enthusiastic about me
ask:
I think you need to understand what love and intimacy are in your article, and I have never thought about these two issues.
When I talked about the object, others were very enthusiastic at first, but there was no response in the back.
Because when they were enthusiastic at first, they would ask me to have sexual relationships.
I think some people do n’t have a relationship with him, and then separate;
I think some people think it is OK, but it will still be separated after the relationship.
Therefore, I do n’t know why, the relationship will be divided, and the relationship will be divided.
Let me give an example:
I met a boy before, and met at work and had business.
After knowing it, I felt that everyone was not bad, and I was single. I started talking about this aspect.
Before the relationship happened, we went out to play several times, and he said this:
“You see you are single, I am also single, everyone knows and knows, can we go further, be my girlfriend?”
He bought a bouquet of flowers, and we had a relationship after drinking.
Later, I didn’t know how to break up and didn’t contact much.
But there were fewer and fewer back to the United States. After asking him what was going on, he would say “relatively busy recently”, and in the end he broke up.
In addition, I have participated in a blind date and met a boy.
We have seen it three times and ate once, and he told me; “I’m busy now, I don’t have time to understand gradually, and I want to be faster.”
I said at the time, “It’s very simple. You can bring me to your family. After seeing your friends, you can.”
He said: “These can be taken slowly, but the two of us have not confirmed well now.
Then he gave me a bunch of requests, and I mentioned goodbye.
In fact, there is a boy who wants to marry me immediately and take me home to see my parents, but I don’t see it because I think his thoughts are very immature.
For example, when I was talking about marriage, I said, “What are your plans after you get married?”
He would say, “Marriage is letting go naturally.”
I said, “Shouldn’t you have a plan?”
He said: “How can there be any plan, anyway, you can bring children at home after you get married, and you can go to work.”
I think this person is so boring, but people who feel interesting are short choice to me, and they are at the point where he is high.
I think getting married is very important to me, but the dedication is not so important. I think you can not be dedicated from your bones, but don’t let me know.
But I am weird: Why do I always attract such people?
Do you say you have to understand the relationship because I do n’t understand the relationship? What is it?
I want to develop a long -term relationship, I want to find a more pattern, and then I can lead me together.
When I encountered a problem, he could help me solve it substantially, and then it was more economical.
Because I think his economic income determines his ability.
But now others always choose to choose me. I don’t know what to do? It’s really confused, I hope Lengda can help.
Cold Ai Reply:
Among your questions, there is a misunderstanding:
Ability is not positively related to the money that a person has.
More popular, how much money a person has, how much ability to have with him is not inevitable, 100 %.
Those who earn a lot of money, the times, fate, and luck are far greater than their abilities.
Next, I respond to your question from two aspects:
First, value pairing in the relationship.
What the heroine confused was the boy who had been looking for her in the past. Whether there was a sexual relationship or not, she eventually left.
Therefore, when I saw this issue, I couldn’t help asking her: “What kind of life do you want to live and what kind of person do you want?”
She wants a long -term relationship, wants a biggest pattern, is stronger than her, and can solve her problem for her and lead her to move forward.
After listening to her answer, I immediately asked her a question: What problems can you solve for such people or provide?
She responded at the time: “I can deal with family relationships and neighborhood relationships; I can cook and chat with him; my income can also support myself and help him solve the problem.”
Collecting this information, we have such dual thinking:
1) In the pairing phase, many people will “dislocate.”
When I was talking about the course offline, a girl said that she wanted to take off, and I asked her, “What kind of boy do you want to find?”
She said: “I have 3 houses in Shanghai, and I want to find a boy with 5 houses.”
She found a boy, but in the end the boy had no girls who had a house, but the girl would jump ballet.
This is a real story, so I want to explain one thing:
Boys with very strong abilities may never think that their partners can afford their income.
Because for him, this is not a problem.
2) The importance of demand is equivalent.
Most of the value you provide can be solved in other ways.
For example, the “neighborhood relationship”, the community where people in the big pattern may not have neighborhood relationships, because everyone is busy.
Or maybe everyone is very harmonious, because a circle will not have a bad relationship.
Another example is “cooking”, maybe the aunt’s rice is delicious than you.
In other words, you and the other party may be completely different.
Or the problems you think of the other party may encounter, and it is not a problem at all in the world’s world.
Because we have interviewed many such people, with an annual income of hundreds of thousands of, assets of tens of millions or even hundreds of millions, they are not in the first place.
Regarding “What kind of girls do boys want to find”, we have also published many related articles in the past.
Some boys say they want to find gentle and virtuous; some boys say they want to find a stable personality; some boys even say that they want to find a beautiful one.
Therefore, if you want to solve the problem in the dimension, there is only one possibility: creating the value he wants for the other party.
Second, learn to distinguish between long -term and short -term relationships.
As for what value the other party wants, we must also learn to distinguish, after all, there is a short -term relationship.
As the heroine mentioned in the problem, some boys had a relationship and left.
Those who develop in short -term relationships may talk about their personal thoughts.
But the true thoughts can only be truly revealed in the long -term relationship.
Therefore, we must learn to distinguish between long -term relationships and short -term relationships:
What does a boy want more in a long -term relationship?
We have published such articles in the past three or five years, and I think such articles have been speaking enough.
But some people will say: “Your content is deeper, and some I don’t understand.”
Well, I have made an optimization now and responded in two levels.
If you do n’t know what the other party wants, for the needs he said, you can judge through two situations:
1) The other party is likely to lie to you.
If the two classes are much worse, the other party may say “I meet you because you are special.”
In short -term relationships, these things may be lies, and no reference is needed at all.
2) The other party is really willing to talk to you.
In this regard, you must understand the true needs of the other party.
In this case, the other party will be willing to take you to know your friends and see your family.
The reason why your relationship is in a short -term relationship is mainly because you do not have the ability to distinguish.
You and these people are passive processes. You have never worked hard for a relationship of “you look difficult”.
You are always waiting passively.
The relationship between these boys you said is simple.
The other party is Sa on the net, looking for 100 girls, and telling these 100 girls: “I think we are quite suitable, be my girlfriend?”
There are always consent among these 100 girls, and then go and leave.
In terms of your values, such people are extremely abominable.
But if a woman falls into such a pit again and again, it can only explain one thing: there is no ability to discern this kind of people.
Therefore, the easiest way is to set rules and maintain principles.
For example, if the other party does not take you to see his parents, he will not have a relationship with him.
This is the easiest way to operate for you because you have no ability to discern.
The cost of seeing parents and taking home for dinner is actually very high, because in the event of a broken relationship, everyone will be embarrassed when you make trouble.
Therefore, this is the simplest filter for the uncertain men and women in the relationship.
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