Text| Wakasugi
Recently, I prefer warm healing movies, and in the aftermath of “Green Book”, I watched the same classic “Bucket List”.
Like in “Green Book”, “Bucket List” is also a double male protagonist, and is also a white man and a black man.
The white man’s name is Edward Cole, the CEO of a medical institution, and a billionaire in a wealthy country.
The black man’s name was Carter Chambers, an auto mechanic who loved life and was knowledgeable.
Two people who had no intersection in life were admitted to the same ward by mistake because of cancer. The only thing in common is that they are all over the age and time is running out.
One day, Edward stumbled upon a “bucket list” written by Carter:
It reads:
1. Out of kindness, help strangers;
2. Laugh until tears
3. Witness a miracle – the Himalayas
……
Edward also added his wishes to this “bucket list”, such as: driving a Mustang sports car, skydiving, tattooing once, kissing the most beautiful girl in the world…
After writing the “bucket list”, Edward said to Carter: “Let’s go, go and realize these things on the list together, don’t worry about money, anyway, I only have money left now.”
So, the two teamed up together and began their final crazy journey. Driving a sports car, jumping a parachute, tattooing, going to the Himalayas, and Egypt, seeing the pyramids, Edward helped Carter find the love of his life – his wife, Carter helped Edward repair his relationship with his daughter, so that he really kissed the most beautiful girl in the world – his granddaughter.
Two people walked through the last stage of their lives in such an almost crazy and beautiful way.
The most memorable scene, in the Egyptian pyramids, Carter says to Edward:
Do you know? The ancient Egyptians had a wonderful belief in death, and when their souls reached the gates of heaven, God would ask them two questions, whether the gates of heaven were open or not depended on the answers to those two questions.
Edward asked Carter these two questions.
1. Have you ever been happy in your life?
2. In this life, have you brought happiness to others?
To the first question: Edward answered cheerfully, of course.
As for the second question, his answer was obviously a little reluctant and hesitant.
01
Only make others happy, too aggrieved
In the movie, when hearing these two questions, I wanted to praise the wisdom of the ancient Egyptians for a moment. It is not difficult for a person to live, just to make himself happy, or to blindly make others happy.
The hard thing is to do both.
Most people tend to do only one or the other, and few find a balance between the two.
If I talk about making others happy, the first thing that comes to my mind is Lin Chiling. In the entertainment industry, Lin Zhiling is a gentle model, never seems to be angry, and the male guest partner, in order to take care of the height of others, often flat shoes go abroad, take photos with female guests, in order not to make themselves too eye-catching, often bend their knees to take photos.
Attending “Strange Words”, He Jiong asked her: “What is the maximum height of a partner that can be accepted?” ”
Lin Zhiling asked wittily: “How tall are you?” ”
He Jiong said: “I am one meter seventy-two meters tall. ”
Lin Zhiling said: “Then I can accept that my partner’s limit height is one meter seventy-two!” ”
played Chibi, was attacked by the media, and his height did not match Zhou Yu, played by Tony Leung. She relieved the other party: a man’s temperament is always better than height.
Such Lin Zhiling has gained a lot of good reputation, and even she herself said: “The best role I played is Sister Zhiling.” ”
However, Cai Kangyong, who was familiar with him, said: “Lin Zhiling is too tired and aggrieved. ”
02
Only make yourself happy, too selfish
If Lin Zhiling also came to answer those two soul tortures, I think the answer would be: the second question, yes, the first question, no.
At least, most of the time.
And some, the answer is, the opposite.
I flipped to two pieces of news.
First, at the 2019 Short Track Speed Skating World Championships, South Korea’s “foul king” Hwang Dae-heon staged a foul:
Under the premise of not meeting the conditions, he forcibly overtook China’s Wu Dajing, and the two fell off the track.
While gliding, the right hand back lifts off the Japanese athlete’s goggles;
When crossing the line, reach out and stop the Russian player to the ground.
After the race, Wu Dajing helplessly appealed: Can you make the short speed skating venue cleaner?
Another piece of news is:
In Hangzhou, Zhejiang, Ms. Chen saw two bloody hands, lying on the rear windshield of a van, thinking that there was a fatality, so she called the police.
The police arrived and found the so-called “bloody hands”, just glass stickers that looked very much like bloody hands.
The glass sticker looks like this, let’s feel it.
The owner said: “My son likes horror movies, so he bought a scary anti-high beam car sticker.”
Whether it is the Korean foul king “Wu Dajing” or the owner who bought the “Bloody Hand Car Sticker”, in my opinion, they are too concerned about the matter of “I am happy”, and put the happiness, interests, and safety of others on the shelf.
Such things, in life, are actually many, many more.
Some netizens asked, in public, what are the most “harmful” behaviors you have seen, and the answers are varied:
When others take pictures, they walk slowly in front of other people’s lenses;
In the row seats, someone has been shaking their legs, causing the entire row of seats to shake all the time;
On the bus or subway, the whole person is holding or leaning against the railing;
In the bookstore, people make video calls without anyone else.
If it is big or small, these are small things, but these little things reveal the most true way of getting along with the world in a person’s heart, that is: I am happy, and your happiness has nothing to do with me.
03
True happiness goes both ways
Happiness is pointed.
If you direct the possibility of happiness to others, it becomes “flattering”. Therefore, the three words “be yourself” have become the goal that many people chase in their lives, because they have been satisfying others, have always wanted to make others happy, and lost themselves.
But if happiness is directed only at oneself, it becomes “selfish” and “self-detrimental”.
Just like the “foul king” Huang Daxian in the short track speed skating arena, just like the “bloody hand car sticker” owner who only cares about his own joy.
But if happiness is directed to only one side, it is difficult for you to be truly happy.
If you blindly please others, you don’t have to learn, blindly make yourself happy, and you will inevitably gain the cold eyes of others, how can you really be happy?
Just like in the film, the rich Edward finally made himself really happy, and it was also because he took the “poor old man” Carter to fulfill his “bucket list”.
So, you might as well ask yourself these two questions:
Have you ever been happy in your life?
In this life, have you brought happiness to others?
May you, really happy.
About the author: Wakasugi, psychological counselor. Published work “Read Yourself: Be Your Own Psychological Counselor”, personal public number: Wakasugi Life (Rosan_life).